Monday, June 29, 2015

Outside Calcibar Mansion

Outside Calcibar Mansion
        Calcibar manor was built by James Nolan Calcibar eighty-one years previous. Near the end of his life, his son, Daniel Nolan Calcibar, donated the estate to be a school for magic in honor of his father. It was a grand affair and the estate made for a beautiful school. However, in the years since the closing of the school, the iron wrought gates had rusted; the red brick and white limestone had been grown over with ivy and moss. The once clear and beautiful windows became translucent with dust, and the woods and gardens are now choked with weeds and brambles. It is a sight of prestige lost.
        Although the manor is in a dilapidated state, many children of Strouton at some time or another, make a play area out of the large grounds. They frolic and chase through the bushes and grassy courtyard, whisper and crawl through the leaves and thorns, but not one ever dared enter that place of magic and mystery which was inside.
        “I heard Daddy say wizards are coming to the haunted house,” said one boy in a loud whisper to his friends as they eyed the building from a bush.
        “Be quiet Tommy, you’re just trying to scare us,” scolded a little girl with a pink ribbon.
        “No, I mean it,” cried Tommy, “Daddy was reading the papers and everything!”
        “Guys, do you really think we should be so close? What if they see us?” asked another boy.
        “Nah, don’t worry Fred, there’s no way any wizards are there now.”
        Yeah,, if there were there’d be smoke from the chimneys because they’d be stirring their cauldrons,” said the girl.
“Don’t be stupid Susie,” said Tommy, “wizards don’t use cauldrons.”
        They do too!” whined Susie. “I saw it at the magic shop with my own eyes,” she added.
        “Susie, witches work aat the magic shop. Wizards use those wand thingies,” countered Tommy.
        “That’s right, and they shoot fireballs and lightning and turn spaghetti into worms and controls your mind to make you eat them.” Fred added, sounding more and more scared than before.
“They can’t turn spaghetti into worms!”
        “Yes they can! And if they’re angry they’ll turn you into a frog and keep you as a pet”
        “You’re being stup-“
        “FRED, TOMMY LOOK!” yelled Susie pointing out at something.
        From the cover of their bush the two boys looked across the courtyard and saw a silhouette in one of the big windows. It wasn’t moving, merely there, but it hadn’t been there before. Fred screamed, “ A GHOST!”
        “No stupid it’s a wizard.” Tommy said smugly. They paused, then they screamed and scrambled to leave their hiding spot.
        The figure raised its arm, and a gust of wind, the color of mist, whished across the courtyard toward them. It lifted them up, rushed through the trees and set tehm at the open iron gate. The two who didn’t lose their breakfast, ran down the dirt road, while the one who did lose his breakfast struggled to catch up.

        Back at the window, if anyone were listening, a voice could be heard saying, “perhaps that will get them out of the way” as its owner tucked a slender stick into his pocket.

4 comments:

  1. I love when places are used for introduction, you and Dom are way better than me at using your surroundings to grab the audience! I found that what really captured my attention in the beginning was your description of a beautiful manor in disrepair more than the fact of its origin. Not to say that's boring information in the least, but what if you used the manor as the hook for the audience, then follow with the information of how it came to be? It's a wonderful first image to paint for the audience.

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    1. Thanks Americannerd I'll get right on that.

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  2. Great job with this, Eric! Definitely a great opening for a bigger work. I'm really interested in the house and how it operated as a school. The only criticism I can offer is I have found in my own writing that the shift in tenses tends to lose rather than hook people. Your switch from past to present tense was kind of sudden and a little confusing-- maybe just stick with one or the other? It's very interesting and I'd like to read more! :) ~CaitieBug

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